ETERNAL TRUTHS

Once over the hill, you pick up speed.

I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food.

If it weren't for STRESS I'd have no energy at all.

Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

I know God won't give me more than I can handle. I just wish He didn't trust me so much.

Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.

If the shoe fits...... buy it in every color.

If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out.

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

Some days are a total waste of makeup.

Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.

Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.

Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't live long enough to make them all yourself

Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun every year.

Birthdays are good for you; the more you have, the longer you live.

Happiness comes through doors you didn't even know you left open.

Notice the people who are late are often much jollier than the people who have to wait for!

Most of us go to our grave with our music still inside of us.

If Walmart is lowering prices every day, how come nothing is free yet?

You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.

Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.

We could learn a lot from crayons: some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, some have weird names, and all are different colors....but they all exist very nicely in the same box.

A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.